NOW ALL I CAN DO IS READ OLD EMAILS
“Hong Kong drinks but doesn’t create. Beijing creates but doesn’t really drink. The wine is stored in my room.”
“China is full of this sort of creative opportunity. Maybe New York is too, but I didn’t feel that way when I was there. I felt looked-over for older versions of myself.”
“ Facing rejection, like really facing it, seems impossible to me.”
“I want to be the Joan Didion of our generation and I also don’t have the energy to clean my own room.”
“In other news, the duuuuude from p*tchfork wrote back asking if I have a photographer. I obvioulsy lied and said I did.”
“Self destruction: Instead of going home, reading Ann Beattie in a noodle shop till 4.”
“I will wear a Power Suit and then some creative-looking blouse. I need a manicure? Or specifically don’t need a manicure. I hate that these are the questions I’m thinking of.”
“i am just plainly socially inept? i would say unlovable, but that has to be an all or nothing fallacy.”
“ I can see myself as I watch a character in a film with whom I empathize but pity, for whom I hope good things will happen but can predict the obstacles.”
“I am ABANDONING jayson in the middle of the night tonight, skipping town, and having my own vacation. thank GOD. AREN’T you proud of me?”
“I’m sitting on my sofa shoufaing.”
“ I’ll be able to live in this country on $5 a day for 80 days, but I’m not going to—I’m going to stay for 30, I think, and just hop beach-to-beach.”
“Part of me says—if I can get happy without him, then I can tell him I love him. If I love him only with a desperation that claws toward him as one can claw toward happiness, then fuck it. That’s just neediness.”
“Wish I could be in a place that’s not the world’s sex capital on Christmas day.”
“I am going to turn off my phone and my computer and just try and live the life of a saintly monk in a cupboard down a well who feeds on roots brought to him by the local mothers.”
“Anyway, we want our friends to be interesting and our lovers perfect. At the sandwich shop, a man had written on the wall with sharpie, “I miss home” and illustrated it with the eerie line drawing of a skull with a dagger through the eye socket.. “
“They played green day at 80s night the other night. you would’ve cried. i don’t think china understands time.”
“There’s a sandstorm outside now swilling the air in here and oh, things outside are crashing—my bike for one. I’m drunk if you can’t tell by the rhythm of the writing here.”
“there’s no weird ‘Oh, i feel weird calling him now’ stuff. He loves to bicycle.”
“She pronounced that my neighborhood is what all of Philadelphia is like. “Lots of skinny bikes. And the boys that ride them always have their U-locks in their back pockets.”
“Track bikes,” I said. And then explained carbon weave tires.
So yes.”
